Problems of Today's parent

Do you remember how it was, when you were young? When you were a kid, without a care in the World? Do you remember your parents and how they were involved in your everyday life, play, school?

I started thinking about my childhood and the role of my parents more intense, when my two kids became age 7 and 8. Why? Because I started to feel like I am not giving them enough "freedom", enough credit, that they can do something on their own.. That I started "over-parenting" as the modern expression is often used.

What does "over-parenting" even mean? Can it be true that we as parents parents are too involved in our child's life? Is our parenting to centered on them? The way I see it, is that we try so hard to be with our kids all the time, from crafting to playgrounds, from childcare to school and after-school activities. We want to provide them with everything, make sure they are not missing on anything. But is that OK? The way I remember my childhood, it wasn't like that at all.. Was it better?Healthier for development? Healthier for my independence? Maybe..

It is quite contradictory, what we are doing. On one hand we want our children to grow into a independent, self-confident adults, who know the right from wrong, but yet we are always by their sides, telling them what to do and not to do and how to do it?! Not giving them a chance to make mistakes, a chance to learn something on their own, just to let them be.. Tell me, how can they learn?

On the other hand, the way of life is so fast, the working hours often become evening hours. With that kind of working life, we get the completely opposite type of parents, the ones that have little or no time at all for their kids. Can we call this kind of parenting the "under-parenting"?

So, if you have kids of the age of 7 or 8, you probably noticed that they started communicating with you on a different level. At least I noticed that. Simply saying "because I told you so" doesn't work anymore. And it shouldn't. They are quite a little adults at this age, they want to understand the process of making decisions, choices. They need to feel, understand and take responsibility for their actions.

I started treating them differently, talking with them more, compromising.. But still make sure, you don't over do it. They can not see you as a friend, you are the PARENT! Giving them more "freedom" in making decisions doesn't mean they can do whatever they want.

Let them make mistakes, let them fall, don't protect them from everything, give them a chance they stand up for themselves. Nothing is given in life, we all have to earn everything. Don't build a World for them, build a life with them. Teach them to work, to love, to laugh, to cry, to hurt,..It's all the learning process of life. And it never stops.

This is my take on the parenting. Every parent has their own view on it. I know I am far from perfect, but trying to be my best. I am learning as I go, realizing that every age in my kids lives brings out new challenges to overcome. But a strong family can do it all!